Time to learN more.. =D

IT IS NEVER TOO LATE TO LEARN !!!!



Lesson 1:

A man is getting into the shower just as his wife is finishing up her shower, when the doorbell rings.

The wife quickly wraps herself in a towel and runs downstairs.

When she opens the door, there stands Bob, the next-door neighbour.

Before she says a word, Bob says, 'I'll give you $800 to drop that towel.'


After thinking for a moment, the woman drops her towel and stands naked in front of Bob, after a few seconds, Bob hands her $800 and leaves.


The woman wraps back up in the towel and goes back upstairs.

When she gets to the bathroom, her husband asks, 'Who was that?'

'It was Bob the next door neighbour,' she replies.

'Great,' the husband says, 'did he say anything about the $800 he owes me?'



Moral of the story:

If you share critical information pertaining to credit and risk with your shareholders in time, you may be in a position to prevent avoidable exposure.



Lesson 2:


A priest offered a Nun a lift.

She got in and crossed her legs, forcing her gown to reveal a leg.

The priest nearly had an accident.

After controlling the car, he stealthily slid his hand up her leg.

The nun said, 'Father, remember Psalm 129?'

The priest removed his hand. But, changing gears, he let his hand slide up her leg again.
The nun once again said, 'Father, remember Psalm 129?'

The priest apologized 'Sorry sister but the flesh is weak.'

Arriving at the convent, the nun sighed heavily and went on her way.

On his arrival at the church, the priest rushed to look up Psalm 129. It said, 'Go forth and seek, further up, you will find glory.'

Moral of the story:
If you are not well informed in your job, you might miss a great opportunity.



Lesson 3:

A sales rep, an administration clerk, and the manager are walking to lunch when they find an antique oil lamp.

They rub it and a Genie comes out.
The Genie says, 'I'll give each of you just one wish.'
'Me first! Me first!' says the admin clerk. 'I want to be in the Bahamas , driving a speedboat, without a care in the world.'
Puff! She's gone.

'Me next! Me next!' says the sales rep. 'I want to be in Hawaii , relaxing on the beach with my personal masseuse, an endless supply of Pina Coladas and the love of my life.'

Puff! He's gone.

'OK, you're up,' the Genie says to the manager.
The manager says, 'I want those two back in the office after lunch.'


Moral of the story:
Always let your boss have the first say.

Lesson 4


An eagle was sitting on a tree resting, doing nothing.

A small rabbit saw the eagle and asked him, 'Can I also sit like you and do nothing?'
The eagle answered: 'Sure, why not.'

So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the eagle and rested. All of a sudden, a fox appeared, jumped on the rabbit and ate it.

Moral of the story:
To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be sitting very, very high up.




Lesson 5

A turkey was chatting with a bull.

'I would love to be able to get to the top of that tree' sighed the turkey, 'but I haven't got the energy.'
'Well, why don't you nibble on some of my droppings?' replied the bull. They're packed with nutrients.'

The turkey pecked at a lump of dung, and found it actually gave him enough strength to reach the lowest branch of the tree.

The next day, after eating some more dung, he reached the second branch.

Finally after a fourth night, the turkey was proudly perched at the top of the tree.

He was promptly spotted by a farmer, who shot him out of the tree.


Moral of the story:
Bull Shit might get you to the top, but it won't keep you there..



Lesson 6

A little bird was flying south for the winter. It was so cold the bird froze and fell to the ground into a large field.

While he was lying there, a cow came by and dropped some dung on him.

As the frozen bird lay there in the pile of cow dung, he began to realize how warm he was.

The dung was actually thawing him out!

He lay there all warm and happy, and soon began to sing for joy.
A passing cat heard the bird singing and came to investigate.

Following the sound, the cat discovered the bird under the pile of cow dung, and promptly dug him out and ate him.


Morals of the story:
(1) Not everyone who shits on you is your enemy.

(2) Not everyone who gets you out of shit is your
friend.

(3) And when you're in deep shit, it's best to keep
your mouth shut!


THUS ENDS THE FIVE MINUTE MANAGEMENT COURSE
And send this to bright people who have enough sense of humor to take it!

I Received an Email and it says that....

On August 7 , 2009


At 12hr 34 minutes and 56 seconds on the 7th of August this year, the time


and date will be


12:34:56 07/08/09


1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9


This will never happen in your life again??!!!!


Amaze your friends..... be the first 2 tell them.

Transformer Laptop -wooT-

Transformer Laptop -wooT-

dont ask me what they are saying or what program they use please and thank you =D

Do let me know the loading of all the Videos i posted up as is it slow ? fast ? ok ?

Anyway, do Enjoy.. =D

The New, Improved ShamWOOHOO! (not ShamPoo)

The New, Improved ShamWOOHOO !

Regina i TAG half only.. Lazy d.. =P

1. What have you been doing recently?
Go out drink tea.. =D

2. Do you ever turn your handphone off?
Yup, when my friend's hp no battery and change sim card and he continue sms his gf =.="

3. What happened at 10am today?
Half awake, Half asleep

4. When did you last cry?
Last year

5. Believe in Fate/Destiny?
Sometimes? =D

6. What do you want in life now?
Healthy and Wealthy to Everyone

7. Do you carry up an umbrella when it rains or just put up your hood?
Hood~ WooT~

8. What's your favourite thing to do on bed?
Do something with the opposite sex.. =D hahaha.. Relax la of course

9. What bottoms are you wearing now?
The CooL bottoms

10. What are the nicest things in your inbox?
Forwarded messages that makes me laugh

11. Do you tend to make relationships complicated?
Depends =D

12. Are you wearing anything borrowed from anyone?
Nope.. Not now.. =D

13. What was the last movie you caught?
WOLFHOUND and please DON'T watch

14. What are you proud of?
My name =Ng Tuck Long=

15. What does the oldest text message in your inbox say and who is it from?
Forget d.. =D lazy check.. it's 3:14 a.m.

16. What was the last song you sang out loud?
Wor Ai de LEN !!

17. Do you have any nicknames?
Yuck, Fuck, Duck, Long, Ah Long, ALONG, John, and more to come

18. What does te newest text message say and who is it from?
I'll be late for the online meeting.. around 10:45a.m. k? Rachel Khoo. hahaha =D

19. What time did you go to sleep last night?
hmmm.. 4a.m. haha.

20. Are you currently happy?
Yup.. got GF more happy.. hahaha

21. Who gives you the best advice?
Everyone ?

22. Do you eat whipped cream straight from the can?
Er... i can try..

23. Who did you talked to on the phone last night?
Boon Kiat

24. Is something bugging you right now?
This Tag.. hahaha.. joking la Regina.. =D

25. Who is the last person that made you laugh?
Wai Chung

26. Do you like yourself?
Sure

27. You want $5 or $10?
Both ?

28. Do you think you are stupid sometimes?
Not sometimes, Everytime!

29. Who is your best best best friend?
Everyone

30. What will you do if you like that boy?
That boy ar? i like Girl more.. sorry.. ^^

31. Who are your favourite stars?
ME, MYSELF and I.. i like him~~ =D

32. Do you hate your mother in sometimes in some ways?
Sometimes.. but i'll always LOVE her!!

33. Do you had even stead before?
What is this?? true.. what is this!!

34. What type of boy do you like?
I LIKE GIRLssss !! =D

35. Now are you, single or attached?
Single and Available.. anyone?? anyone?? =P

When finish, please check out "The Concept of "ICE" below.. TQ

See… when the girl bend down to see her laptop..

There is a guy who is sleeping there right?

Then try to remember what the girl see in her Laptop?

Men run more mileages than Women..

but the girl’s BF is actually Sleeping behind..

So the Girl join the Women challenge !!

Then more and more people join the challenge..

At the end, you will see the Girl running with a Guy with Grey shirt right..

That is the Guy who is actually sleeping on the Sofa!

=D Good Advertisement.. I like this Advertisement a lot.. The song suits the environment.. =D

Nike always know how to persuade people for their products.. =P

The concept of "ICE"

Ng Boon Kiat Forwarded this to me and i think it is quite reasonable..

I dunno whether it is a world wide recognition but by doing this, hope u guys would coy and paste and Forward it out through Email to everyone ~ TQ ^^

The concept of 'ICE'

Dear All,

In case we are involved in an accident.
We all carry our mobile phones with hundreds of names, numbers stored in its memory but yet nobody, other than
ourselves, knows which of these numbers belong to our near and dear ones?

In case we are involved in an accident or had a heart attack and the people attending us get hold of our mobile
phone but don't know which number to call to inform our family members.
Yes, there are many numbers stored but which one is the contact person in case of an emergency?

For this reason, we must have one or more telephone numbers stored under the name ICE (In case of Emergency) in our
mobile phones.

Recently, the concept of 'ICE' is catching up quickly.
It is simple, an important method of contact during emergency situations.
As cell phones are carried by majority of the population, just store the number of a contact person or person who
should be contacted at during emergency as ICE (meaning In Case of Emergency).

The idea was thought up by a paramedic who found that when they went to the scenes of accidents, there were always
mobile phones with patients, but they didn't know which number to call.
He therefore thought that it would be a good idea if there was a nationally recognized name for this purpose.
Following a disaster in London , the East Anglican Ambulance Service has launched a national 'In case of Emergency
(ICE)' campaign. In an emergency situation, Emergency Service personnel and hospital staff would then be able to
quickly contact your next of kin, by simply dialing the number stored as 'ICE.

Please forward this. It won't take too many 'forwards' before every body will know about this.
It really could save your life, or put a loved one's mind at rest.
For more than one contact name simply enter ICE1, ICE2 and ICE3 etc.
A great idea that will make a difference!
Let's spread the concept of ICE by storing an ICE number in our mobile phones today!
Please forward to your all nearest and dearest. Thanks!

ICE概念

假如我們發生了意外或危急事情。
我們的手機裡儲存著數百通的名字和電話號碼 , 但除了我們自己本身外 ,沒有任何一個人知道這些號碼中的哪一個號碼是屬於我們
的至親好友。

假如我們身陷在意外中或心臟病發時 ,而照料我們的人員要用我們的手機通知我們的家人時 ,卻不知要打哪支號碼。
當然 ,手機中儲存著許多號碼 , 但哪一個是緊急聯絡人的號碼呢？

基於這個理由 , 我們必須要有以 ICE (In Case of Emergency) 假如發生緊急狀況 ) 為名的一個或更多的電話號碼儲存在我們的
手機中。

最近 , 'ICE'的概念正快速地蔓延形成 . 在緊急狀況時 ,它是一種簡單又重要的聯絡方式。
既然大多數人都攜帶手機 , 就把緊急聯絡人的電話號碼用 'ICE' 為代號儲存起來。

這個點子是由一位醫務人員想出來的。
他發現當他們到意外現場時 ,往往意外當事人身上都會攜帶手機 ,
但醫務人員不知道該打哪支號碼通知家屬。
因此他想如果在這種情況下 ,有一個全國性可辨識的名字，這將會是個好點子。

倫敦的一件災難後 , 東英救護部門便發起一個全國性的 '假如發生緊急狀況 (ICE)' 活動。
在緊急狀況下 ,緊急部門人員及醫院員工 ,只要撥打以 'ICE'為名儲存的電話號碼 ,
將可以很快速地聯絡上你的至親。

請將此封E-MAIL轉寄出去, 讓更多人知道。
它或許真的可以救你 (妳)的命。
如果有超過一個以上的緊急聯絡人,很簡單地, 只要輸入 ICE1, ICE2 和 ICE3... 等即可。
一個好主意, 讓一切將會有所不同!

現在就把儲存一個ICE號碼在我們手機中的概念傳揚開去!
請傳送此電郵給您的最親最密的朋友喔！謝謝！